Improving a Radio Script (plumbing company example)

Here’s an ad for a plumber I did a while back. The first radio script was created by just having a quick conversation with the owner. He said, “I want to let people know that if they’d rather not take off work for a non-emergency plumbing call…they can have us over on the weekend. We’re open 7 days a week and don’t charge anything extra for the weekends.”

Ok. That information actually has some great potential because not all plumbing companies are open 7 days a week without charging extra on weekends. So…that gives a radio ad writer like myself something beefy to expand upon.

Tip: If you don’t have any major differences between you and competitors, create differences that customers would like and appreciate.

Here’s the original rough script that I wrote…

Have you ever had to take a sick day or vacation day just to wait for a plumber?  Hi, I’m Geoff Ellerbroek from Summit Plumbing.  If you’d rather not take a day off work for a plumber, that’s one more reason to call Summit.  We’re open 7 days a week from 8 to 5.  So, if Saturdays or Sundays would work better for YOU…give us a call and we’ll be right over.  And we don’t charge extra for Saturday and Sunday calls either.  All we want is to make your experience as pleasant as possible.  I’ve had customers tell me that they used to dread making that call to a plumber…but they don’t any more.  We work on Saturdays and Sundays to make it easier for you…

So, I let that script sit for a day or two…because it was missing something. I felt that the point Summit Plumbing was trying to make wasn’t “sticky” enough. Or dramatic enough. It needed some more “teeth” so it could be remembered better…and also a bit more entertaining to keep radio listeners tuned into the ad the whole way through.

Here’s the revision…

There are some crazy stories people make up so they can skip work.  Like the guy who said a chicken attacked his Mom.  Or the girl who said her Chihuahua had depression issues and needed a psychologist.  Have you ever had to take a sick day or vacation day just to wait for a plumber?  Hi, I’m Geoff Ellerbroek from Summit Plumbing.  If you’d rather not take a day off work for a plumber, that’s one more reason to call Summit.  We’re open 7 days a week from 8 to 5.  So, if Saturdays or Sundays would work better for YOU…give us a call and we’ll be right over.  And we don’t charge extra for Saturday and Sunday calls either.  All we want is to make your experience as pleasant as possible.  I’ve had customers tell me that they used to dread making that call to a plumber…but they don’t any more.  We work on Saturdays and Sundays to make it easier for you.  Now you don’t have to make up a story to miss work if you don’t have to.  Like the employee that said his mother-in-law made a surprise visit and he wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. Call Summit Plumbing in Sioux Falls.  The 7-day a week, no extra charge plumber.  728-4212.  728-4212.

That revision gave the ad more IMPACT. It was more “receivable” for the listener. It added emotion. It added some humor. It dramatized the point we were trying to make. It made it much better.

Whether you want your current advertising to improve…or if you’d like a completely new advertising strategy, let me know.

Duane Christensen

Results Radio Townsquare Media

Sioux Falls SD

605-940-7984

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